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 Hi. I'm Mort Fertel, creator
of Marriage Fitness.
I've been where you're at and I have answers for
you.
Before I share with you an important marriage renewal tip (below), I
want to offer you FREE help and a FREE marriage assessment. No strings
attached.
All you have to do is sign-up in the box to the
right and I'll email you both.
After your free sign-up, you'll go to a web page that'll explain
further about an alternative to marriage counseling.
Now here's some free advice for you.
You may have recently concluded that professional
marriage help is in the best interests of you and you spouse. Perhaps
you are considering marriage counseling or
the latest marital enrichment techniques. If this is the case your
spouse is likely in agreement that something be done to improve your
marital situation. However, in your quest to fix your marriage, you may
encounter resistance…from your spouse!
Your spouse may dwell on the 101 reasons why
“this just won't work for us” and blame you for
every one. Or, your spouse may be emotionally
“checked-out” of the marriage and not care about
your efforts to improve the situation or be willing to extend any
effort of their own. In marriage counseling
sessions there is one question that inevitably comes up: “How
do I get my spouse to change?”
Why would your spouse resist POSITIVE change in
your marriage and what should you do about it?
Before attempting counseling with a spouse opposed
to change there is one thing that needs be to acknowledged. That is,
your spouse will decide to change when they’re ready to
change and not one second before. And the more you push them, urge
them, nudge them, ask them, scream at them, or beg them, the LESS
LIKELY they are to change. I know it’s hard to wait, but you
have to let it come from them.
It’s possible someone could INSPIRE your
spouse to change, but the person LEAST LIKELY to be the inspiration is
YOU. It’s sad but true. A complete stranger is more likely to
get through to your spouse than you are. A chance experience or
encounter is more likely to shake up your spouse than anything YOU
could do. So yes, counseling and marriage advice can help, but only if
your spouse has come to it on their own terms.
Now you're probably thinking, “Makes
sense, but isn't there anything I can do to encourage my spouse's
choice?” YES, there is! One of the counseling tips I provide
in the Marriage Fitness program is: BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE.
Begin this journey yourself and let your spouse see how the choices
YOU'RE making impact how YOU feel about yourself and your marriage.
Resist the urge to believe that your marriage won’t change
until your spouse “gets with the program.”
You see, the love YOU feel is much more a result
of what YOU DO for your marriage than what your spouse does for it. And
when you fill your marriage with loving actions, the feeling of love
will follow. Loving actions can be demonstrated in many ways, such as:
1) spending sixty seconds really listening to your spouse, 2) giving
the right gift, or 3) expressing confidence in one of your
spouse’s decisions.
Marriage Fitness is a program that will show you
how loving actions such as these can TRANSFORM YOUR MARRIAGE. And the
best part is that you only need one person to initiate the change.
Very often one spouse will come to me for marriage
coaching and ask if it makes sense for them to be coached alone. The
answer is yes! One spouse can make more than a 50% difference in a
marriage. And that difference is often exactly what will get the other
spouse to open up to marriage counseling
too.
“You can lead me a mile, but you
can’t push me an inch.”
So, bottom line— It's YOU changing that
has the greatest impact on YOUR EXPERIENCE of your marriage, AND it's
YOU changing that is the single most important thing you can do to
motivate your spouse to follow.
I have much more FREE advice for
you and a FREE marriage assessment. No strings attached.
Sign-up
in the box to the right and I'll email you both. After the free
sign-up, you'll go to a web page that'll explain further about an
alternative to marriage counseling.
.
I've
been where you're at and I have answers for you. I'll explain more in a
moment. Do the free sign-up and I'll see you on the next web page.
Warm
regards,
Mort Fertel
Author of Marriage Fitness
Marriage
Coach
Marriage
Fitness with Mort Fertel
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