Before I share with you some secrets to
marriage success (below), I want to offer you some FREE help and a FREE
marriage assessment. No strings attached.
All you have to do is sign-up in the box to the right and I'll email
you both.
After your free sign-up, you'll go to a web page that'll explain
further how I can help you fix your marriage.
Now let's move on.
When problems arise in your
marriage, it can be challenging to make things right.
You may not even know how the
problems came about or what to do about them.
Most people do their best to
understand the issues causing conflict so they can try to resolve them.
But sometimes that's the problem. In other words, the problem in many
marraiges is that people are focusing too much on their problems.
If you want to resolve your marriage
problems, here's an alternative approach.
SET ASIDE YOUR PROBLEMS and
try to CONNECT with each other. That’s right, stop dealing
with your problems (as serious as may be), and start establishing
healthy habits that will bring a positive energy to your marriage.
At first this may sound
counterproductive, but focusing on your marriage problems
just tends to breed more negativity. The trick is to instead spend your
time and energy building your relationship through POSITIVE ACTIONS.
Here are a few examples of
positive actions that will begin to energize your marriage: 1) Learn a
new joke today and share it with your spouse. 2) Ask how your spouse's
day went… and really listen. 3) Kiss your spouse upon waking.
Actions such as these (even
if they are only done by one person) will begin to minimize the
negative feelings associated with your problems.
Here's another tip. GET
INVOLVED in one of your spouse's interests. Try engaging your spouse in
discussion about their interest. Ask questions. Consider purchasing a
thoughtful gift that relates to your spouse's interest. In time,
explore with your spouse how you can get more involved. Be assertive,
but make sure you involve yourself in ways that are agreeable to your
spouse. (You don’t want to be causing more problems by
including yourself in ways they don’t appreciate!)
Getting involved does not
necessarily mean that you have to do the activity together. It could
mean that you watch the activity, plan for it, pack for it, budget for
it, buy supplies for it, or research it in preparation for discussion.
How you get involved depends on you, your spouse, and the interest.
There are endless possibilities. The goal is to GET INVOLVED in some
way so your spouse's interest becomes part of your life too.
One of the problems that
people see with this marriage exercise is that their spouse's interest
doesn't interest them. (If it did, you would probably already be
involved!) But this is not an exercise in choosing compatibility; it's
an exercise in CHOOSING LOVE. Your interest in your spouse's interest
is irrelevant. It’s your interest in your marriage that is
key.
By now you can probably see
why problem-solving strategies can actually be the cause of more
relationship trouble. That’s because the key lies NOT in
fixing what’s wrong, but in making new things right.
There's more FREE advice for you and a FREE
marriage assessment. No strings attached.
Sign-up in the box to the
right and I'll email you both.
After the free sign-up, you'll
go to a web page that'll explain further how I can help you fix your
marriage.
I've been where you're at and
I have answers for you. I'll explain more in a moment. Do the free
sign-up and I'll see you on the next web page.
Marriage
Fitness with Mort
Fertel
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